Blue Valentine: A Match Made in Error
In Blue Valentine, we’re given a non-linear look at a marriage between two worn-out love birds played by Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. We see both the beginning and the end of the relationship. Yes, the relationship ends. We know the end is on the horizon after watching the film’s first few minutes wherein these two are so emotionally removed from each other they might consider themselves as roommates more than life partners.
No, this isn’t another fairy tale love story where the leads banter, cuddle, fight, make up, and live happily ever after. Thankfully, this is something quite different, an honest examination of what happens when two people rush into a lifetime of happiness before allowing the time to get to know each other.
I went into Blue Valentine expecting a three-hankie weepie that would leave me feeling a bit depressed, but enriched and satisfied by having experienced a reflection of the challenges of love and marriage. It wasn’t a three-hankie weepie. And it wasn’t as enriching or satisfying as I hoped. But it did leave me feeling a bit down.
Does that sound like a knock on the film? It is and it isn’t. The film tells its story by cutting from the present to the past. Doing so prevents the viewer from being fully engaged in the relationship. Instead, we are merely detached observers, like strangers outside a window. Because of this, Blue Valentine prevents the audience from experiencing the emotional wringer that the characters go through; we are unable to feel the frustration of Ryan’s Dean or the silent misery of Michelle’s Cindy. Therefore, Blue Valentine suffers from an emotional impotency that keeps it at an arm’s-length from greatness.
On the other hand, as a chronicle of the blooming and disintegration of a relationship, Blue Valentine is quite effective and features first-rate performances by its leads. Consider yourself lucky if you find yourself unable to relate to these characters. This is a film about what actually ends up happening to some of us and how some of us just don’t know how to improve on mountains of pain.
Dean is an impulsive young man who thinks guys are more romantic and faithful than women. Cindy is an aspiring doctor who was just impregnated by her insensitive jock boyfriend. The two meet, spend time with each other, and fall head-over-heels for each other. One thing leads to another and in a matter of a couple weeks, the couple decides to start a family and marry. The problem is – and becomes the thing that prevents the relationship from surviving down the road – there is nothing aside from their fondness for each other’s company that Dean and Cindy seem to have in common. Before they can learn this, they dive in head-first for the long-haul.
And what a load they haul! Each of them carry with them baggage from their parents’ marriages, which affects how they behave in their own marriage. But neither one knows how to communicate their way through the grime that is spoiling their love for each other. And that’s what Blue Valentine seems to be pointing out: if you don’t take the time to get to know each other and how to effectively communicate then your love won’t survive the challenges that will come down the road. Your marriage will either end or end up subjecting a child to a loveless marriage. At one point, in an attempt to charm Cindy, Dean warbles ‘You Only Hurt the Ones You Love’. This film effectively illustrates how true that song can be.
There are three or four sex scenes in Blue Valentine – none of which are depicted in a provocative or exploitative manner. Each one fits into the fabric of what we are seeing. One scene may depict the couple expressing their passion for each other, while another may depict frustration and indifference that comes toward the end of a relationship. No scene is so graphic as to justify the MPAA’s initial NC-17 rating. While watching Blue Valentine, I kept looking for something that might resemble the scene in question, something that could be reasonably argued as too graphic. There is nothing more graphic than any other sex scene in any other film. In fact, the same sexual act is depicted in last spring’s Ben Stiller film, Greenberg, the only difference being in Blue Valentine the woman clearly enjoys what’s happening. Is the line drawn between an ‘R’ and an ‘NC-17’ defined by a woman enjoying sexual pleasure? The fact that Greenberg features the same sexual act in question with that one notable difference and still eluded its own ‘NC-17’ controversy would indicate it is. Thankfully, Harvey Weinstein, formerly of Miramax and now of The Weinstein Company, which distributed Blue Valentine, was able to convince the nation’s movie nannies to change their rating to ‘R’. It is a film that teenagers, not long from meeting their own blue valentines, could learn a thing or two from.
Controversies aside, if you prefer your love stories to follow a formula and end happily then Blue Valentine is not for you. But if you enjoy movies that depict the realities of love and the struggles of sharing a life with another person, Blue Valentine is worthy of your attention and may give you an experience unlike any other love story. Just don’t be surprised if it fails to bring on the waterworks.
7/10
Should you see it? Rent
Blue Valentine has expanded to a theater near you.