Remember That Movie: The Italian Job
I was recently reminded of this 2003 remake of a late ‘60s caper film, this one starring Mark Wahlberg and Charlize Theron. But all I could really remember was that it existed and it served as a great advertisement for Mini Coopers, those half-pint Euro-cars that could fit in your bedroom. Apparently, there was a reason for this, because there really isn’t much else to remember from this film.
The Italian Job, directed by F. Gary Gray (Law Abiding Citizen, Be Cool), is about a group of professional thieves who get betrayed by one of their own and seek to get back what they deem is theirs. Mark Whalberg stars as Charlie and Donald Sutherland is John Bridger, the retired leader of the group who is passing the torch to Charlie, the son he never had. The rest of the troupe includes Seth Green, the tech specialist; Mos Def, explosives expert; Jason Statham, the charismatic hunk; and Edward Norton, who doesn’t appear to specialize in anything. Charlize Theron plays Stella, a professional safe-cracker who works for the law, but has a connection to Charlie’s team. If you watch closely, you’ll also see appearances by 30 Rock’s Scott Adsit and your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!
Edward Norton, usually excellent in everything he does, is as crooked as his moustache. He turns coat, ambushing the team, killing one of their own, and running off with their gold. The team of thieves regroups and searches for Norton, preparing to steal the gold back. Of course, the job isn’t easy so Charlie enlists Stella’s help.
I have not seen the original, but apparently the remake incorporates two key elements from it: 1) use of the mini-coupes as getaway vehicles and 2) changing the traffic lights to create a traffic jam. That may be great for the small percentage of people who have seen and remember the original Michael Caine flick, but here it comes off more like “Gee, aren’t these cars cool?” product placement.
This caper is fluff all around. The jokes are light, the stakes are light, and the characters are light. The banter flies around the team, but instead of hilarious it falls flat every time. The film seems to try to hit the action beats, but instead of awesome they’re bland. And the scenes where the team sneaks into Norton’s mansion and works their magic are mildly interesting instead of intense. Norton’s villain is more Snidley Whiplash than menacing rival. Sure, he kills a couple people, but I never believed for a second that he would get the upper hand or that the main characters were in any real danger. And there’s a Ukrainian nasty that’s thrown in (also a page from the original) and feels unnecessary and unjustified.
It is enjoyable being in the company of this cast, especially Charlize Theron who steals every moment she’s on screen and who’s presence is sadly lacking in theaters these days. But unless you’re looking for a breezy, forgettable way to waste an hour and a half The Italian Job will only rob you of that time.
5/10
Should you see it? Skip
The Italian Job is available on DVD and Blu-Ray now.
The Italian Job, directed by F. Gary Gray (Law Abiding Citizen, Be Cool), is about a group of professional thieves who get betrayed by one of their own and seek to get back what they deem is theirs. Mark Whalberg stars as Charlie and Donald Sutherland is John Bridger, the retired leader of the group who is passing the torch to Charlie, the son he never had. The rest of the troupe includes Seth Green, the tech specialist; Mos Def, explosives expert; Jason Statham, the charismatic hunk; and Edward Norton, who doesn’t appear to specialize in anything. Charlize Theron plays Stella, a professional safe-cracker who works for the law, but has a connection to Charlie’s team. If you watch closely, you’ll also see appearances by 30 Rock’s Scott Adsit and your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!
Edward Norton, usually excellent in everything he does, is as crooked as his moustache. He turns coat, ambushing the team, killing one of their own, and running off with their gold. The team of thieves regroups and searches for Norton, preparing to steal the gold back. Of course, the job isn’t easy so Charlie enlists Stella’s help.
I have not seen the original, but apparently the remake incorporates two key elements from it: 1) use of the mini-coupes as getaway vehicles and 2) changing the traffic lights to create a traffic jam. That may be great for the small percentage of people who have seen and remember the original Michael Caine flick, but here it comes off more like “Gee, aren’t these cars cool?” product placement.
This caper is fluff all around. The jokes are light, the stakes are light, and the characters are light. The banter flies around the team, but instead of hilarious it falls flat every time. The film seems to try to hit the action beats, but instead of awesome they’re bland. And the scenes where the team sneaks into Norton’s mansion and works their magic are mildly interesting instead of intense. Norton’s villain is more Snidley Whiplash than menacing rival. Sure, he kills a couple people, but I never believed for a second that he would get the upper hand or that the main characters were in any real danger. And there’s a Ukrainian nasty that’s thrown in (also a page from the original) and feels unnecessary and unjustified.
It is enjoyable being in the company of this cast, especially Charlize Theron who steals every moment she’s on screen and who’s presence is sadly lacking in theaters these days. But unless you’re looking for a breezy, forgettable way to waste an hour and a half The Italian Job will only rob you of that time.
5/10
Should you see it? Skip
The Italian Job is available on DVD and Blu-Ray now.